What would you do?
A diary entry on mentorship, ego, and knowing when to act.
Hello world,
It has been a long time since I’ve written a blog, and to be honest, this entry may be less than a blog and more of a diary entry. I’ve been having a hard time processing a situation as of late, and thought, “I open source everything else, why not my problems?” So this post will be a bit messy in structure and not my best writing, but it will more than likely be the most emotionally raw post I have made to date.
So what’s the issue?
I have an individual, let’s call them Bob, whom, in a way, I have been mentoring, and I find myself in a situation I’ve never been in before. For those of you who know me, you know that I am humble to a fault. I don’t want to say I downplay my abilities, but I am very transparent about where there are failings, because I feel that if I hide them, I will never be able to get help in strengthening them. I approach mentorship differently from others; I never look to teach, I always look to learn alongside them.
So, Bob has surpassed my technical abilities in many ways, and I couldn’t be prouder… the issue? They now disregard my opinion in all matters because I am not as “technical” as they are. Which is fine. If I am being as honest as I said I would be, I couldn’t care less what they think, after all, I made my career proving people who thought similarly wrong.
The issue is that they have also started talking down to others and openly questioning others’ dedication to their studies and abilities. I firmly believe that hearing other people tell you how bad you are at something can get into your head and make you believe it, and for many people, this becomes the end of their journey. What’s come out of these conversations? Comments to others on how I have no idea what I’m talking about, after all, how can I understand — I’m not technical, right?
I should be ashamed to admit it, but I am not, that I am well known in the community for putting egos in their place; those egos have been crafted over years and years of experience. This is a baby ego, and kill -9 is not yet required.
So before I take my next step, I ask you, world: “What would you do?”
Share your thoughts. I posted this on LinkedIn and would love to hear your perspective — drop your opinion in the comments: What would you do?